They Chose … Poorly.

So the Dunkerton High School administration decided to hold one of those assemblies that pretty much every high school has at one point during the year.  Back when I was in school, it was this multi-media snooze-fest using a combination of slide shows, mini-movies, and songs with “lessons” in them like “I Need an Everlasting Love” in a vain attempt to persuade kids to “make the right decisions”.  And not do drugs.  Or something.  While I understood the intent, no one ever saw it as anything more than an excuse to get out of class for an hour or so.  So there was that.

Anyway, back to Dunkerton.  Apparently years ago, they invited a band called Junkyard Prophet to play some music and give the same kind of do-the-right-thing spiel you’d normally expect.  They created a good impression with both the students and the faculty that they were invited back to perform again this year.  Only they didn’t seem to bother telling anyone their message – and their method of conveying it – got a lot crazier in the interim.

Okay, first of all, the photo.  Because, damn:

"World of Warcraft" meets 1980s Hair Band

And now, some of the lyrics:

“People be freakin’ when we speakin’ cuz we burnin it up,
The life you livin’, when you sinnin’ cuz we tearin it up,
With the word that hot,
From the School of Hard Knocks gonna break the rocks,
We ain’t stoppin’, the convictions poppin’
Junkyard in the house and the Holy Ghost droppin’.”

Soul winning at its finest**.  The funny thing is, that was actually the decent part of the show, based on the students’ reactions.  If I had to guess why, they likely played their music so unbearably loud and sang unintelligibly enough that they could have been rattling off a recipe for butternut squash soup and no one would have been the wiser.   It was after the little song and dance routine that things moved into Westboro Baptist territory.

… junior and senior high students at Dunkerton High School and faculty members said they were assaulted by the group’s extreme opinions on homosexuality and images of aborted fetuses.

“They told these kids that anyone who was gay was going to die at the age of 42 …”

I suppose that’s one way for a fourth-rate band desperate for attention to finally get some publicity – and maybe even a sponsor from a right wing evangelical organization.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they were contacted by some interested parties after news of their little show gets enough air time.

[After the students were separated by gender], the young men learned the group’s thoughts on the U.S. Constitution and what one Prophet referred to as its “10 commandments.” The leader also showed images of musicians who died because of drug overdoses, including Elvis Presley.

I’m not too sure how the band’s interpretation of the Constitution or their own version of the commandments has anything to do with their stated purpose at the school, which was to discuss making good choices and warning against the dangers of peer pressure and bullying.  I don’t think they knew either.  Instead, the boys got an earful of something that sounds like it came right out of the latest episode of “Hannity”, while the women were schooled on the intricacies of proper behavior, Junkyard-style:

The girls, meanwhile, were told to save themselves for their husbands and assume a submissive role in the household. According to witnesses, the leader in that effort also forced the young ladies to chant a manta of sorts about remaining pure.

They had the girls chanting mantras?  About remaining pure??  Where in the name of Zeus’s asshole were the teachers and the principal throughout this catastrophe?  If this little tiptoe into brainwashing territory wasn’t enough for the principal to go right to the breaker room and cut the juice to these jackasses, what would have finally done it?  Not letting any of the students leave without being harassed?  Oh, wait:

Those who walked out or attempted to confront the speakers were shouted down or ridiculed as disrespectful, according to students.

At the end of the day, the principal tried to do some damage control by emphasizing the “positive aspects of their message” while voicing disagreement with the aborted fetus / 42-year gay lifespan / submissive virgin thing on which they spent most of their time.  Just give it up, write the day off as a loss, and move on.

Apparently they’re also trying to get their money back.  Good luck with that one.


According to LGBTQ Nation,”the band is part of the “You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International” Christian youth ministry founded by Bradlee Dean. Dean has advocated for imprisonment of gays and lesbians, and has said that gay men molest an average of 117 children “before they get caught,” and that Muslim nations that execute gays are more moral than American Christians.”

Someone – or some group of people – didn’t do the proper research before inviting these people into the school, letting them segregate their students, and inundating them with a bunch of paranoid nonsense based on lies, ignorance, and fear.  Maybe next time they bring anyone in they should do a little research before relinquishing that much control of the school and the student body to a bunch of raving lunatics.

**(This reminds me of Chillaxin’ on the MAX, courtesy of Trimet’s genius marketing department and some young rap artists who I’d bet anything desperately wish it would just go away.  Listen to it.  It’s glorious.)
This entry was posted in Freedom from Religion, Profiles in Fundamentalism, Religion and Public Life, Religion in the News and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to They Chose … Poorly.

  1. Dan Adler says:

    “They told these kids that anyone who was gay was going to die at the age of 42 …”

    ooh, I’ve been dead for two years. I’m a ghost. OOOoooooOOOOOooo

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