God Works in Marsupial Ways.

Praise the lord and all of his angels, it’s a miracle!  God is good!

Kangaroo keeps missing boy warm

And how many people immediately thought of this scene from Empire Strikes Back? Come on, admit it.  Okay, maybe not, but that just means you have some movies to watch this weekend.  Anyway, the admittedly tongue-in-cheek story for today comes to you from Deep Creek Conservation Park, near Adelaide, South Australia where young Simon Kruger wandered off into the bush while his family was having a picnic nearby.  He apparently traveled so far away and out of sight that he wasn’t found again for 24 hours, and only then with the help of 40 people and two helicopters.  This is the account of Simon’s story and the … miracle … that allowed him to be reunited with his family the following day:

When he was rescued, Simon told his father: “Dad, I’m okay. I slept under a tree and there were kangaroos.”

His father, Etienne Kruger, told Australia’s 7 News that Simon was picking flowers for his mother when the kangaroo approached him.

“A kangaroo came closer to him and ate the flowers from him, and the kangaroo fell asleep next to him. I think God sent a kangaroo to keep him warm.”

Simon’s mother, Linda Kruger, said she believes it’s a miracle. “When I smell his jacket, it’s kangaroo – bush and kangaroo,” she said.

Now, before too many people criticize me for some obscure feel-good piece about a missing kid with a happy ending, I get it.  Some parents lost their kid, got scared out of their minds that they’d never see him again, and then discovered that he’s alive, in one piece, and has a story to tell that sounds like it could be adapted into a direct-to-video Disney movie.

All in all, that’s a pretty good deal.  I’m honestly happy for them, and wish them the best.

So with that out of the way … this kid’s parents legitimately think God sent him a kangaroo?  That’s how He works these days … through the “miraculous” appearance of everyday native fauna?  If I were God and had a message to send, I’d have planted a goddamned blue whale on the scene, with a chain of glowing barnacles on one side spelling out “I AM THAT I AM” in ancient Hebrew.  I’d guarantee that kid’s devotion for the rest of his days, to say nothing of plenty of food if things got rough.

But no.  None of that.  He isn’t even proactive about it either, but that’s hardly news.  He doesn’t make sure the parents were a little extra vigilant.  He doesn’t give the kid a sense of urgency and divinely inspired navigational abilities to get back to the family picnic to avoid the ordeal.  He doesn’t send a small group of wandering campers to help him find his way.  You might theoretically argue that He sent the rescuers, even if it took 24 hours to get to him, but I’d say that’s a stretch.  So, after somehow considering and rejecting all of those alternate options, God decided to break out a kangaroo to provide a little flower powered body heat.

I suppose we really should be thankful.  Sometimes He’s been known to send out dingoes.

This entry was posted in Dr. Bob's House of Crap, generic skepticism, random musings and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to God Works in Marsupial Ways.

  1. Gosh, Senator. You are so damn cynical. 😉 I get that the parents are relieved and thankful to whatever forces may be, but I also wonder why folks like this don’t think, ‘This god is sort of a jerk. He sent a kangaroo to snuggle with my kid for the night, but he let someone else’s kids suffer for years in a pedophile’s basement.’ Hmm

  2. Kathy says:

    Or how about… Gee, this ‘god’ let my kid get lost and put me through hell, wondering if he was dead or alive. Not a god I want any part of.

    • Yeah, when you have a god that only arrives after the fact – even a decade after, in the case of the Cleveland girls – it’s clear he’s asleep at the wheel and shouldn’t be trusted with our immortal souls.

  3. Elyse says:

    Sounds like God was kind of lazy here. If God wanted to strut his stuff, he would have had the kangaroo return the kid to the family. But nooooooooooooooooooooooo.

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