A couple of people have recommended that I look at the latest article by Raylan Alleman from “Fix the Family”, which enumerates six reasons why you shouldn’t send your dear little girl to college. You know it has to be good when they attempt to rebut accusations that these reasons – along with the majority of the content on their website – are aimed at subjugating women and keeping them in a role that is more fit for 19th century society than a 21st.
When he starts ranting against the “feminist agenda” and makes constant references to “angry women”, well … let’s just say that I damn near had a heart attack to see a picture of this guy with who I assume to be his wife.
On with the countdown.
She will attract the wrong types of men.
What … the well-educated types who value hard work and see intellect as a virtue?
“So what normally happens with this setup is that those lazy men who are looking for a mother-figure in a wife are very attracted to this responsible, organized, smart woman who has it all together along with a steady paying job with benefits. […] So if he wants to go to work he can, but if not he can always fall back on her income. […] The bottom line, HE is only supplementing HER income, but he’s supposed to be the provider. “
So … this entire sob story is predicated on the fact that this hypothetical woman who recently received a college education didn’t manage to meet a guy in school, but instead ended up with some no-name loser who never bothered applying to college after high school, stayed in his parents’ basement, worked at the local gas station, and simply counted the days until some pretty little Catholic girl with a “B.S.” after her name came along to sweep him off his feet, shave him, teach him to walk upright, and take the place of his mother for the rest of his days?
… and the solution to this possible eventuality is not to make sure that she’s equipped with the ability to identify these red flags from a distance and avoid them like a case of the plague – with the understanding she’ll still make mistakes like everyone else – but to prevent her from obtaining a higher education to begin with?
That’s like not teaching someone how to drive because they might get cheated when they’re at the local Jiffy Lube.
She will be in a near occasion of sin.
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. What do yo- … nevermind, go on.
“Just think of the environment that college-age students live in. You have a heavy concentration of young people all living together without the supervision of parents at the most sexually charged state of life they will experience. How can one expect that anyone would be able to avoid these temptations, even on a Catholic college campus much less a secular one? So if it is unnecessary for one to be in a near occasion of sin, is it prudent to willingly put oneself there? “
If you want to look at the best hope of making sure she can avoid putting herself in a bad situation, look in a goddamned mirror. The ability to make good, educated, and rational decisions – even in the heat of the moment while the hormones are raging – is instilled in young people by the proper education from both parents and a comprehensive sex education program that focuses not only on the use of birth control and issues of human sexuality, but of response to peer pressure, self respect, and intelligent, long-term decision making.
Funny, too, that this guy is basically saying that college kids are pretty much going to have sex, even those in the more religious schools. Yet, when it comes to the sort of curriculum they want in junior high and high schools to cover issues of human sexuality, they’re the first ones to scream about “abstinence only” education, because anything else would just encourage them. Sounds like someone just painted himself into a corner, no?
And for the love of God, why is this just about women? Just like the previous example, men are in the same position, and vulnerable to the same problems. If anything, this list should be about why to keep your kids out of college.
“This is no small matter we’re dealing with here. Is a degree worth the loss of your daughter’s purity, dignity, and soul? “
Jesus, nothing encourages a young Christian woman to get an abortion more than parents who place so much of her worth in her virginity. When that’s given up, well … she’s just damaged goods from then on.
“Catholic OB-GYN Dr. Kim Hardey notes that a woman is naturally very observant of a man’s faults as long as she is in a platonic relationship with him. Once she becomes sexually active with him, she releases hormones that mask his faults, and she remains in a dreamy state about him. ”
She will not learn to be a wife and mother. “Nothing that is taught in a college curriculum is geared toward domestic homemaking. “
Here, I have to admit there may be some shred of wisdom. Personally, I think that in both high school and college there needs to be some sort of basic education in cooking simple meals, money management, and tax preparation. Again, though, I envision both men and women attending. That certainly would have helped me out when I hit grad school.
“Stay-at-home mothers are actually very busy industrious women and do absolutely beautiful marvelous things. Surely the business world severely undervalues those things they do, but the value to a family is beyond monetary compensation. These abilities cannot be learned in any college.”
Having grown up in a house with a stay at home mom, and having plenty of friends who did the same, I can attest to the fact that we all benefited greatly from having someone at home all of the time. I can also consider myself lucky in the fact that my father made enough to allow us to have that luxury to begin with. Many other families weren’t so financially well off to allow one parent to stay home; instead, they were more concerned about paying the mortgage, buying clothing, and putting food on the table than about being able to stay home all day every day.
I’ve heard some “traditional gender roles” advocates argue that the existing economic / business model assumes a two income family, and sets individual compensation as a result. Whether or not it’s true has no bearing on the fact that a woman has the right to determine her own future. If that means going to college and becoming a marine biologist or a historian or mathematician, then that’s great. If she wants to wrap up high school and be a stay at home mom from that point on, then that should be her right as well … as long as it’s her decision in either case.
The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup. “Like anything that is subsidized by the government, the cost of a college degree is inflated. “
Well, thank God free enterprise has allowed private schools to remain cheap enough to allow any student who wants an education to get one at a reasonable cost. [/s]
“That being the case, it can often be difficult or impossible to get an adequate payoff for the investment. […] It makes much more sense for a young couple to have a husband with a skill that brings value to the marketplace that has reasonable compensation to go along with it and a wife who is willing to be frugal especially during the early years of starting their family.”
And what in the world makes you think that the cost of the man’s degree will be any easier to recoup? Why can’t it work the same way to have a woman with the skills to bring value to the marketplace instead, while the man is basically a stay-at-home dad? Oh … wait, we already covered that in Reason 1, didn’t we. I love how there’s pointless gender stereotypes in both directions here.
You don’t have to prove anything to the world. “Often the reason for a girl going to college is the pressure of the society around her, including her parents.”
Instead, in this case we have a girl being pressured by her parents not to go to college, because she’ll end up with the wrong kind of guy and without the first clue how to live on her own. But that kind of pressure on the part of a couple of concerned parents is acceptable because they care about her purity and soul.
“The society is so fixated with the feminist ideal of women having to have a job and provide an income to have worth. So parents and their daughters often beam with pride in announcing what university she will attend.”
Funny, I always thought that the feminist ideal was to allow women the opportunity to go to school and further their education if they so desired, thus allowing them the same choices that had once only been exclusive to men.
As before, there is some small wisdom in that we as a society do happen to place an inordinate amount of value on a person’s occupation, and especially whether or not they have a college degree. That’s problematic when considering how atrophied our manufacturing sector has become over the last several decades. It’s not going to bring people into the field when those jobs are now considered “beneath” the average, educated American.
Either way, this has nothing to do with women … so please go on.
“Often homeschooling parents feel they have to prove that they have done a good job in educating their children and are validated by them going to college.”
Well, I kind of would, too. At the very least it would dispel the myth that all homeschoolers do nothing but teach their kids about the bible and how a black president is the sign of the coming apocalypse.
It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents. “In our culture many parents feel an unnecessary obligation to pay for the children’s college tuition. […] So parents may avoid having more children with contraception, sterilization, or illicit use of NFP to bear this cost.
Considering how the child-bearing phase of one’s life is usually a number of years before the college phase hits … at least for most people … I think the plan to have a number of children you feel you can best afford takes into consideration the cost of college along with clothing, food, housing, healthcare, transportation, sports / music lessons, and a whole host of other factors. (This ignores the cost of their own sanity, which I imagine would be chipped away at an exponential rate as the number of offspring increases.) Their decision to not reproduce anymore through the use of sterilization or hormonal birth control is considered a sin by some, but common sense – and an individual choice – by just about everyone else.
And, for what feels like the fifth time … unless we’re talking about life in India or China, I can’t see how issues of money should subsequently encourage parents to not send their girl to college as a result. I, for one, would feel the need to urge any and all of my kids – male or female – to consider a trade as a useful and marketable alternative to college if the cost is too prohibitive.
“To assume that all of our children will need a college degree is quite a stretch, particularly for girls who will likely be mothers.”
To assume that a woman can’t hold a decent part time job that makes use of her college degree while her kids are at school isn’t a stretch, nor is considering that her life isn’t going to abruptly stop when they finally hit college. Let’s say she has two kids – one at 24 and another at 26. The younger one hits college when she turns 44. Then what? Should she still sit at home, knitting socks and waiting for her kids to come home for the holidays, or should she take this opportunity to enrich herself with something she wants to do instead? If she went to college after high school, she’d already have a degree under her belt to make re-entry into the work force that much easier.
She will regret it. “[…] We are not surprised that more and more women are coming forward to tell their stories of regret for having by-passed the more meaningful things in life to opt for the approval of feminists who cared nothing more about them than being statistics to reinforce their agenda.”
Don’t cave in to that feminist agenda that women should have the right to pursue a higher education if she wants! She’s only fooling herself, having been brainwashed into dismissing the idea of waiting around for a man to support her while she devotes her entire life exclusively to raising children and performing her wifely obligations.
Funny, it sounds like this guy’s just mad that these women aren’t opting for the approval of conservative Christians who care nothing about them than being statistics to reinforce their agenda. All you have to do to see other examples of this is consider the entire pro-life movement, which in many cases defines life as starting at conception and ending at childbirth … especially for single, low-income women.
This isn’t to say that there isn’t a sub-population of feminists who believe that making the decision to take on traditional gender roles is tantamount to a betrayal of “the cause”. To that point, if someone is pressured to make their decisions to meet anyone’s approval other than for themselves, that can result in a great deal of regret later on in life. However, regardless of whether this omnipresent specter of feminism has any influence on the decision making process of our young daughters, the option of higher education should always be available to those who want it since not everyone wants to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.
TL:DR version: Parents! Don’t send your little girl to college. The only reason she wants to go in the first place is because of the pressures placed upon her by the big lie of the two-income family inflicted upon us by angry feminists. She’ll end up saddled with debt, pregnant, and shacked up with some loser who depends on her income for his livelihood.
It’s her job to find a guy who has saddled himself with debt, slept around during a few relationships, and driven his parents to self-inflicted sterility and become dependent upon him for her livelihood instead … the way the good Lord intended! Hallelujah!
I said before that the author tried to preemptively address the accusations that would come from such a piece, but they didn’t really cut it. Alleman says flat out that professional jobs are for men, and women belong at home making babies thus eliminating any real need for a higher education. It’s all a trap that enslaves women, anyway. Without a degree she’s free to enter into a marriage as a subservient wife:
Christian marriage by definition does place her in a submissive role to her husband, but no one forces anyone to marry anyone. She should go to the altar with full knowledge of what she’s entering into.
… and it’s with that knowledge that many women run to their nearest admissions office for a shot at independence in a modern society where men and women are equal. I don’t blame them.
I highly recommend checking out his site. He has a series called Feminist Lies (we need to let women be women!), a section under construction called the Man Room (coming soon!), and a bio that you could probably predict without my posting any content (starts with “h” and ends with “-omeschool”). Needless to say, he provides a model of the family that everyone else should follow if we are ever going to fix our society.
Meanwhile, I’ll just suggest that society is always going to have problems … but allowing both men and women the opportunity to pursue their dreams regardless of what they are really doesn’t sound like one of them.
Congratulations if you’ve read this far. See you tomorrow.